Mediocre Me

I don't want to sit down and write. The fear is I'll continue. And no, this isn't Your write, my Precious friend :), its a venting in a moment that will soon fly away from me.
I am on an edge of the deep pain of lo..lo..lo..love (?) that I can't have. And the outcome of falling is to put to death my heart and emotion. My mind will cause my body to live, make altruistic choices and live virtuously, with or without..but to feel anything will become amiss. Buried dead in a deep grave, unmarked...as if putting away an important item I never desired to be lost, but meant to in the end. You, my Friend, know what I mean.
I leave myself where I know I left that Love the first time Love had to go... I..am...broken