Thursday, April 24, 2014

Satan's Bane

When angels cut their wings, do we question it? Some mystery inside the pain. When they fall to earth with no common reason related to Lucifer, what then?

They seek the low places, conceal their true identity and stay in squaller. Dark? Yes, but your might be one.
They are the ones we are constantly trying to prove to themselves they have worth. But they are never convinced.

They live on their own weakness. Like a heroin or chemical imbalance that brings a physical likening to 'good energy', the most amiable of their human traits. They bleed true, live human lives and suffer, but none as much as they.

They take a deeper path. Maybe lead by divine design, some natural thing, instinct outside of historical (and even secular) knowledge. They find the lowest of places. They are drawn to them. They are drawn to 'them', as those that walk those paths are also mutually drawn (and we wonder why at our darkest times that they are there, right with's a 'sight' thing), why?

Because their taste lingers in their mouths, heartache fills their taste buds. Not in a way of satiating, but intrinsically familiar. The shunned human emotions, things we don't allow ourselves to feel, because it hurts. I think they would ask us,  "Why always feel the elation of life? It's nothing more than an elevated space. Like a balloon full of hot air- no mass- no core- no substance- nothing 'real'."

 So..they become 'healers'. Beings that are structured internally to house pain not their own. Again, why?
Because they choose to. Because it completes that such a bad thing? I was

told when I was young the only thing that matters is righteousness. And while these angels have fallen...they chose to fall. Not for pride, not for jealousy or rebellion..but only that they couldn't wait idly by any longer while watching humans suffer so greatly. Whether due to their own devices matters not. Their only knowledge of Love is what they've seen their entire existence. A perfect Love.

I recently met a girl running from her pain, very well masked. She refuses to see that facing it helps more than hurts, being only focused on the physical value assigned to it by her mind. Not understanding the working goes deeper, adding skeletal structure and stability to a soul. Depth in the most valuable fashion. She knows i can see it, but stays closed. Knowing deep that I threaten her.

As a Lover? I could destroy her. But as a friend? She...and i, would grow and learn and heal. And we all want the two in one. It's true that i want the two in one.

I wonder if she'll be infected? Or myself...will I lay myself in that emotional hospital bed, waking and sleeping with her, nurturing the wounds not yet inflicted by me. Helping that core in her to shine brighter than the other things meant to drown her light. I haven't felt this warm in...

Maybe angels need human touch...or maybe they lead such lonely and bruised existences because they fail to allow themselves the path they never had the chance to choose. They don't know how to fall in Love. I think she's learned more about that than i...and any fallen angel can only take so much before they succumb to humanity. Maybe she's my angel..and I'm too caught up in saving my world that my own peril is eminent...and she's simply trying to save me..with the perspective and innocence of a child.