Remember...

Taking time, for a few minutes...i want to savor something.

It might be years in the future..or tonight...we might just get bored. Like a lull between two massive ocean waves.
I've been in those type of storms. They take the sun and sky from you all at once. They take you from the highest you've been and plummet you to the deepest you'll be, for that storm...and funny thing is, you *never* move an inch forward or backward.
You just wait.
All portholes closed.
All doors latched.
All sails tied.
Keel drawn.
All rigging secured.
Many call it "being at the mercy of the storm.

I call it waiting.

There's nothing you can do about it, but wait. You've already decided to be out there..looking at the sky and weighing the possibilities that weather may change. One could say that's commitment.

Waiting.

And the most Lovely thing about it: We'll be together.
Having weighed well the commitment to be on this ocean. Knowing there *WILL* be storms. There will be times when we can do nothing else but let it take us.

In those moments, we'll be together. Waiting for the seas to right themselves.
Because after all, we are not masters of the oceans or their tides and ways. We are only masters of ourselves.
But...we can harness it...we can manipulate it...we can make it work for us.

Remember this.
Remember the highs.
*Remember* the lows.
And remember...to just wait...
And don't worry, you're boy's a fuckin sailor. ;)

The Cure...

There is only one common enemy of man. Only one disease. We seek out the stimulus we need to cure it by many forms. Thus resulting in artificial addictions to foreign substances to an obscene amount. Doctors, healers, homeopathic experts and drug dealers of every sort provide substances that temporarily hold off the symptoms of the most lethal pandemic...the disease of pain.

There are so many things we give ourselves over to. So many abuses we allow our bodies to endure that mask and temporarily set apart the effects of this disease, which none are immune to. The cure..is found in our blood..our life.. None of us need these substances. No one needs the chemical and earth-borne products we take. Our bodies tell us the story, building immunities and tolerances so that we need more and more. But the *cure*...is in our blood...selfless Love. Costly Love. It is the cure all.

My friend in his righteous ways has a street doctor practice. It's formed and practiced in Love. But it (the cure) is not the substances he provides. It's not in the energy he invests in making certain his "patients" are taken care of. It's in the intention behind the products and the services he provides. These are only meant to provide the atmosphere and opportunity for what is inside each one of us to bring about the cure..so the substance is needed no more.
We get addicted to the feeling of "being ok". These temporary medications that give us the euphoria of "being ok" and being at peace are not the end nor the source of our healing. Only portals by which to access the cure.

The cure is in our blood...by the way of pain. Sacrificial Love. It costs, but cures all. We must fight to bring the cure to the surface and tear away the importance of what makes us "feel good", and replace it with Love for each other. This is the only way we will, as a human race, be cured...from all things.
(expound or simplify pk)

Satan's Bane

When angels cut their wings, do we question it? Some mystery inside the pain. When they fall to earth with no common reason related to Lucifer, what then?

They seek the low places, conceal their true identity and stay in squaller. Dark? Yes, but wait..open your mind..you might be one.
They are the ones we are constantly trying to prove to themselves they have worth. But they are never convinced.

They live on their own weakness. Like a heroin or chemical imbalance that brings a physical likening to 'good energy', the most amiable of their human traits. They bleed true, live human lives and suffer, but none as much as they.



They take a deeper path. Maybe lead by divine design, some natural thing, instinct outside of historical (and even secular) knowledge. They find the lowest of places. They are drawn to them. They are drawn to 'them', as those that walk those paths are also mutually drawn (and we wonder why at our darkest times that they are there, right with us..it's a 'sight' thing), why?

Because their taste lingers in their mouths, heartache fills their taste buds. Not in a way of satiating, but intrinsically familiar. The shunned human emotions, things we don't allow ourselves to feel, because it hurts. I think they would ask us,  "Why always feel the elation of life? It's nothing more than an elevated space. Like a balloon full of hot air- no mass- no core- no substance- nothing 'real'."

 So..they become 'healers'. Beings that are structured internally to house pain not their own. Again, why?
Because they choose to. Because it completes them..is that such a bad thing? I was

told when I was young the only thing that matters is righteousness. And while these angels have fallen...they chose to fall. Not for pride, not for jealousy or rebellion..but only that they couldn't wait idly by any longer while watching humans suffer so greatly. Whether due to their own devices matters not. Their only knowledge of Love is what they've seen their entire existence. A perfect Love.


I recently met a girl running from her pain, very well masked. She refuses to see that facing it helps more than hurts, being only focused on the physical value assigned to it by her mind. Not understanding the working goes deeper, adding skeletal structure and stability to a soul. Depth in the most valuable fashion. She knows i can see it, but stays closed. Knowing deep that I threaten her.

As a Lover? I could destroy her. But as a friend? She...and i, would grow and learn and heal. And we all want the two in one. It's true that i want the two in one.

I wonder if she'll be infected? Or myself...will I lay myself in that emotional hospital bed, waking and sleeping with her, nurturing the wounds not yet inflicted by me. Helping that core in her to shine brighter than the other things meant to drown her light. I haven't felt this warm in...

Maybe angels need human touch...or maybe they lead such lonely and bruised existences because they fail to allow themselves the path they never had the chance to choose. They don't know how to fall in Love. I think she's learned more about that than i...and any fallen angel can only take so much before they succumb to humanity. Maybe she's my angel..and I'm too caught up in saving my world that my own peril is eminent...and she's simply trying to save me..with the perspective and innocence of a child.

Just Letters...

 

Baby!!! Im so sorry i had to book like crazies!! I was so late :/. I wish we could just be off today and just chill an stuff together...like these kids, (haha, riiight???)

 

I Love you so much!!! Im falling more and more and its a good kind of scary because i can trust you...i DO trust you...you are more than enough for me and i need you to know...NEED you to know...there's no one else, not now and not ever. I've found all I've ever wanted..and it all matches what my expectations have painted with idealistic colors in my crazed mind.

 

 

...its you...its you..its you...

You are amazing..you are MY amazing woman...you are mine, you belong with me and to me. I have, i am and i will always fight for you, my dragon Queen
...and there are many magical things to come...many, many...really, really...