It's been 3 years, nearly 4. The wine was not so sweet that night, but the feeling was altogether like an ancient family recipe. I was a weary soul, you didn't know that, but felt it. You were God's present to me that year..and for my life. We were drawn in 'instancy', like magnets not just different polarity, but broken off from the same piece. It's one time in my life where I wasn't found by another, neither did I find someone...we found each other ;).
Then bubblegum dreams and pixie stick comments and haircuts. Comments on romantic and sexual connections, trying to feed that same demon that bounced back and forth between the chains we had tied around it's neck, as if we were its masters.
Remember some of things we said? (HAHAHAHAHA! O..mg, Sissa). " Well, if I were me..." (*Giggles out loud!).
There is a time in all our lives where things have fallen apart. A house we built falls on unstable rubble that becomes what we try to make solid foundation. We learn a lot, by ourselves. "They" come and go. Staying for a while, feeling the depth of pain and investment needed to put us upright..and leaving. You..were NEVER too heavy for me ;). It was at the time all was falling down, settling onto instability, you came in. Not walked, flew through the air and tackled me (remember? :)). Whereas energy becomes intimidating and others run in fear or just drop the connection, the fire inside us brazed our souls together..at such a time when we were both falling and fading out. And no one knew it but each other..and ourselves.
Sissa...you helped save this soul...how grateful can a man be? Only to see his children grow and fly eons away from where he began. That about covers the emotion (because I'm weeping at the thought...right now).
Sissa? I'm sorry I left your life for that terrible period of time. You know it wasn't me, but its no excuse. I broke my promise to you. I regret only 2 things in my life...that is one of them. I would have it all back and have left her, right then. However, there is purpose in the brokenness, right? ;)
Ok, now that you're ugly crying..here's some more :). Hehe!!
We've watched each other go through lover after lover, meeting nothing to avail but lessons learned and paths corrected. That night, Christmas evening, you told me of this Lover you had, of whom I never forgot...Thomas. At the mention, it didn't matter to me what happened, what he did wrong, I fell in Love with him. You remember, don't you :).
Casually coming up over the years, and my feeling never left. My opinion never left, " Sissa, you're supposed to be with that man. He's going to come back, but will you be ready? Will he? I don't know..but I do know this..he's your man, you're his girl."
NOW...not gonna say 'I told you so', we could do a lot of that with each other, huh? Heehee!!
What I saw was this: I came, helped hold up that house at the foundation. As with all work in all things, at the moment things got slightly weary and worrisome, some guy comes walking up. Having the same casual demeanor and chemical makeup as myself...as you. He walks right by, looks at me for a second. Smiles and says, " thanks, I got it from here, but hang out a bit." And with a slap on the shoulder, kiss on my cheek and sidewards grin, he pulls out a hammer..walks over to the pile of timber you had so specifically piled categorically- as if you'd forget how this house went back together, and pulled, piece by piece from the pile. As he touched each piece of lumber, it turned to gold. I watched, mesmerized..
I held my corner until the weight shifted from my extended arms. He masterfully had rebuilt ALL the foundations without a single piece of lumber left in the pile (didn't he? :)). As if he knew the plan that was in your soul. I shrugged, walked out from under the house, still needing a little work, but standing. I stood next to him, admiring the work. I turned to him and said, " Good work, Brova."
He grinned," Thanks, my brotha. Btw, I'm not scared of you..my name is Thomas."
" I know...I've been waiting for you, and ONLY you. And you should know something.."
" Yea? Whats that?"
" I'll tell you the story on your wedding day. Cheers bra, go get her!"
And Sissa...Brova: Here's the story of the lasting rest:
(It's a blank page)
Sissa...we WERE that demon's master. With all that back and forth, we choked that demon out..together. We beat this thing that tried to kill us as beautiful souls. (*Touching your face, cupping your chin, kissing your cheek) And Sissa? You're beautiful...you've never been more beautiful :').
Thomas..there was never a need for making room for you in my heart. You ALWAYS existed there, from the moment I met your energy. Not only just there, but in the stateroom I placed your bride in. I have not felt her more happy since the day we shared space. And as I am hers, I am yours-
With many tears and depth of soul, heart and the Love that makes fear itself shake away into its own grief..I...am...yours, I SWEAR it.
To this day, August 1st, 2012, I pledge my life to defend you two. Sissa will have no other being, as Brova will have no other being. I have been to depths most think impossible for a human soul to endure. The same depths you two have reached and will dive to again. I am familiar with the territory. And wherever you go, I'll be there, with a copy of the map. You married my sister, you ARE my brother, for life..and that's SERIOUS with a triple scorpio ;).
One more thing on that...that also means when shes being a bitch? We can crack beers over the phone about it ;).
Alas, le fin-
You two are the most beautiful soul I have seen paired. Remember this day and all that encompasses it. Make your promises and make them come to pass. It has been my greatest pleasure to have a front row seat to this lifelong dance. I am romanced by your Love. I Love you two, forever and always.
NOW...go make like rabbits ya kiyads!! Heeeeeeeheee!!!