The 12 jewels of your emotional clock are out of syncopation. Needing to call an introspective technician. Don't rely on yourself or religion, for these can't be trusted. Look into it, for you, for him, not us. These things that plague your Love, as did ours, are inside you, not the other. They were inside me as well. And a death I undertook. I weep. But I am so alive!
Needing a sense of yourself, not a mask of intelligence and propriety as you've adopted. Educated you are, a journeyman at life. But as far as I can see, you still haven't begun to study this question. For it's a question not of logic...and you, at your very best are not logical, rather whimsical.
Still hoping it will shade your dark past. Running in place from a nightmare that really is only your shadow. Can't disperse shadows. Can't escape them. Your own at least. It's when the testing comes that shows our true nature, Love. The evil that rises from below the masks. ...Sweet girl...I Love you, I do. We become our surroundings. Who is becoming you, Love? Twins can't help but be what they are when they are together. The same with quasi difference.
Do the work, Sugar, Love. So you don't regret, because it's not a necessary spend of energy.
Love, LOVE...love (and you know the rest damnit!)